TIPS FOR SUCCESSFUL NETWORKING . . . AND LIVING
© by James T. Parsons, J.D.

1). Think long-term in networking - not short term.

This means never overlook people simply because you think they are of no use to you at the moment. Too many people think too short term and discount others too quickly, but you never know who might be helpful to you in the future, or whom they know, or whom they might become. Just try to be nice and kind to people - while letting them know what your needs are, in a confident but considerate way.

2). Diversify your network and connections.

Just like with the stock market, it is always a good idea to diversify. Recognize that other people have concerns as well, and may not be able to immediately help you, so don’t focus all your needs on one person too quickly. Gravitate and prioritize your time to those that are kind, considerate, and responsive. Continue to be cordial and responsive to others, even if they aren’t immediately responsive to you.

3). Develop two-way relationships with people.

Before you shout "HELP ME” at someone, make sure to think about the contact as being a two way street. You can't only look to others to help you; instead strive to develop lasting connections with people who can help you - to help yourself. People are always more willing to help others who are also working to help themselves. See these contacts as the beginnings of lasting friendships. Thus, avoid severing the connection, less they remember the next time you need help from them.

4). Best way to meet someone: Offer to help them with what they need!

While this might seem counter-intuitive, the best way to network people (particularly powerful people) is to offer to help them with what they find important. Note that this is what they find important, not what you think they should find important. Try to identify what their needs might be and express a willingness to help them. This approach has many advantages, since they instantly have a reason to contact you back and allow you to get to know them better. If they are a good person, they will try to reciprocate. If they don't, then you know more about them. Either way, for third persons observing the situation, you will at least be associated with powerful people, and you will benefit.

5). Recognize powerful people - are people too.

Nice but powerful people may be overwhelmed most of the time. You might be amazed at how busy some of the prominent people are! If you are trying to get to know them, make your “ask” of them in a direct and concise manner, and leave it to them to get back to you. Be careful not to bother them too repeatedly since they might just be busy, and will contact you when they can. Also, the corollary to this idea is that those important people need real friends. Too often people just approach them - to use them! If you show that you are willing to offer real friendship, as they are able, then in time you might have it!

6). Be confident in your interactions with people.

If you don’t automatically assume that people are disregarding you, then they might be more responsive to you when they have time. It will also make them more accessible to you the next time you see them. In the same regard, be confident enough to approach people - you might find they were happy you did.

7). Learn to make the best of any situation.

Regardless of what your expectations are, always attempt to identify where you might be able to enjoy your time or benefit, even if it is working to help others. Never come to a situation and disregard it simply because you wanted or expected it to be “better.” If there are a lot of people in an event, recognize you have more people to meet (but less time to talk to any one in particular), or if there are only a few people, recognize you can talk to those who are there more in depth (but fewer people to meet)! Try also to seek out the hidden jewels in any situation you find yourself - rather than always yearning for the situation over the next hill. You would be surprised at what jewels might be right under the surface! =) Ultimately happiness and true confidence are finding the joy and positive in any situation, not always yearning to have that which you do not possess. If you are feeling lost, at least try looking around for other people who don’t seem to know anyone and try approaching them as a potential friend.

8). Discount no one completely, and be willing to show your own grace and humility.

This is a corollary to No. 7 above. This has saved my pride on a number of situations . On one occasion, a very bright, articulate, spiritual, dignified young man, was also looking for work. We became friends, and I helped him some. Only several months later did I find out that he had been hired to work for Colin Powell's wife, running a national non-profit. You never know who the traveler from Damascus is, or who he might be someday! Be humble and kind, and maybe they will recall your kindness and generosity, and show you some in return, if they make it big!

9). Develop patience and determination!

Regardless of the lottery mentality, no real fortune is made over night and even those lotteries that are - will be quickly lost - without the determination and discipline needed to maintain them. You can’t simply become discouraged or negative about life if you run into one road block. Those that succeed probably had their own share of road blocks, but were determined to succeed - and did so through a lot of hard work. Believe in yourself even when it seems like few others do. Also recognize that there is some benefit in being anonymous since you have the ability to learn and fail, without an audience, and simply try again.

10). Develop your vision and creativity to realize it!

A little faith and religion (whatever form/origin) is probably required here! Believe in something greater than yourself, and find the way to put yourself within its stream. It will carry you to where you want to go! The cynics of the world are lost - don't let them fool you! And, although we all feel lost at times, many of us want to believe and will follow those guiding lights around us! Learn to identify those lights in your own heavens! Do not fear failure - simply learn from it.

11). Tend your Garden well!

A good analogy for networking is gardening. It is hard to simply plant crops when you are hungry. It is far better to plant crops way before you get hungry, so you give the plants time to produce fruit - on which you can feed. Networking is similar - it is developing relationships with people that continue to develop over time. If you tend your crops (contacts and friendships) well during good time, you will be better able to harvest the rewards, and can utilize them in bad times. But regardless, get out there and begin the process - your garden won’t tend itself.

James T. Parsons, J.D., is a practicing attorney and a well-known networker and young community leader in Austin. James is the Chair of the KLRU Community Advisory Board, a past-President of the Austin Symphony BATS, a former Director of the Austin Young Lawyers Association, and is involved with many other fine art, civic, and professional organizations. In a younger life, James was a very introverted artist, but learned the skills of effective networking over the last decade. From 1997-2003, James managed an email list of 1500 young professionals and elected officials in town, and uses his photography as another means to meet people.