Based on some of the conversations I have with people about networking it seems that an awful lot of people want to keep score. To be really honest I sometimes wish there was a way to keep score as well. In reality a simple score keeping mechanism would never be able to keep up with the complexities.

The closest thing to a score keeper is the concept of "Social Capital." You can go and read what Wikipedia has to say about Social Capital, but for me it was way the heck to academic and boring. Instead, allow me to simplify and explain this concept the way I see it and apply it to networking.

To me Social Capital is simply the goodwill that you build when helping others. The number of ways that you can build this goodwill are absolutely endless. Buying someone a cup of coffee, making an introduction. recommending a book, driving someone to the airport, helping a friend move, smiling at a stranger, giving advice, making someone laugh, making a charitable gift or volunteering your time. These are just a few examples of ways you can earn social capital and there are easily a half a gazillion more.

The easiest way to think about how this goodwill is earned and spent is if you think of it like your social capital bank account. As you make deposits your account grows. When you make requests of others or ask for favors you may use some of your balance. Unlike your regular bank account, here you can carry a negative balance, and I haven't yet figured out an analogy for overdraft protection. That being said if you go too far into the negative it typically comes with a major loss of credibility, and it will be difficult to get the additional credit you might need.

The bank account example is probably most helpful in explaining that there isn't a direct correlation between deposits and withdrawals with each individual. Let me explain. If I do a favor for you and earn 50 social bucks, it doesn't mean that you must repay those social bucks. Instead I just have a larger balance in my account. That way if I need some help from someone else who I haven't yet built up any credit with hopefully they're able to see my larger account balance (integrity? trust?), and will be willing to help because it will give them credit in their own account. In other words, just because someone in your network does you a favor does not mean that you OWE them. Of course it's always wise to try and repay them, but that isn't always possible and this is where a lot of people get hung up about keeping score.

My feeling is that if you're doing enough for others in general, you need not be overly concerned with repaying every single favor. On the other hand it can be a lot of fun, and lead to some really rewarding relationships, if you work hard to out give your friends. I have this type of never ending loop relationship with a number of people, and the results are pretty unbelievable. In fact I recently had a conversation with one of them and they told me that they didn't think they could ever repay me for everything I'd done for them. While I was thinking that I was the one with a deficit. Trust me when I say that this type of relationship is extremely powerful.

The last thought I'll leave you with is the idea that doing good in the community builds tremendous social capital. Whether you're volunteering in your kids school or serving on a board you're making a tremendous impact on others. Find a way to do this even if it's just a little bit here and there. It all adds up. Talk about the work you're doing and encourage others to get involved as well. Doing this increases everyone's balance and the entire community wins!

Happy Networking!

-Scott Ingram
NetworkInAustin.com