You've probably heard this standard networking advice at some point: "All things being equal, people do business with those they Know, Like & Trust" I actually disagree with most of this statement and believe that it causes too many people to go about their networking in an almost entirely misguided way.

First of all we can just throw the initial statement out the window, because all things are rarely equal. I doubt that I'll get much argument on that front.

The real issue I have with this statement is the whole notion of knowing and liking someone. To know someone can be an extraordinarly broad definition. Do you know someone if you once met them at a Chamber event 4 years ago? What about your business partner or colleague you've sat next to everyday for the last 12 years? Heck, I might even argue that you "know" someone if you know 'of' them. For example, many of you reading this blog or my newsletter don't actually know me, but you 'know of' me. As you can see, "Know" is a tough concept to define.

"Like" is even trickier. If you're like me than you like most people. Why not? Everybody is unique and brings something of value to the table, and until they do something to steer you in the other direction, why not like them?

It's really this combination of Know & Like that I feel tends to get people in trouble in a networking context. Because if someone is wanting to be known and liked then they spend a lot of time creating relationships for the sake of creating relationships. They'll attend lots of networking events so they can be known by many. Don't get me wrong, they're often great people, because they really want to be liked. So what's the problem?

The problem is trust. Becoming known and liked is fairly easy. Earning trust is a much higher standard. So high so that generally speaking I'd be more willing to do business with someone I trust, even if I don't know them or like them. Wait... What? How can that be.

Let me explain. Trust is what creates great referrals and is the most transferable element of the equation. It's also the most differentiated since it's easy to get to know and like someone (An advantage you probably lose the moment your prospect meets your competitor). Trust on the other hand says so much more. Would you rather be referred by someone who "knows" you: 'Hey, I KNOW a guy who might be able to help you with that.' OR would you want to be referred by someone who "Trusts" you: 'Hey, I've worked with someone on a very similiar issue, got great results and would absolutely TRUST her to get those results again.'

Don't worry about being known and liked. That comes with time, and anybody can do that. Work to become trusted. Be a trusted resource. Become a trusted source of information, ideas and other content. Do what you say you're going to do and always follow-up.

It works... Trust me. :)

Happy Networking!