The most successful networkers adopt a mindset that is all about the person sitting across the table from them. Most people I know, myself included, think about and consider themselves first. So it's a bit unnatural to try and think of another persons needs first. Ironically the more you're able to adopt this kind of mindset the better your own results and successes become.

Once you've gotten past the basics of getting to know somebody, their background, the type of work they do, etc. It's time to go to a deeper level and learn to understand what they're really after. Where are they most focused right now? What does success look like to them? How are they motivated? What information or resources do they need to get to the next level? Are there any obstacles on their current path to success?

The more you understand these deeper motivations and goals the better position you're in to help them. The more you can help and have an impact on someone's major aspirations the stronger your relationship will be over the long term.

What I've noticed over the course of hundreds of conversations is that very few people are good at clearly articulating these personal aims. Instead you really have to work to bring it out of them. Ask lots of good questions, and just continue to dig deeper and you'll get there.

The beauty of this approach is that once you start down this path the person you're really getting to know at this level is automatically going to become interested in your own answers to these questions. You can help them out by developing your own clarity on what you're after and how others can help you along that path.

Results from this type of conversation can be really powerful. Now you both know precisely what the other person is after, and you have the information you need to know how to make the biggest impact for them. Now, simply act! There is almost certainly something you can do to help them get where they're going. Simply put, if you're not willing to take this kind of action for others how can you expect them to help you on your own path?

As Zig Ziglar was fond of saying: "You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want." You can only help other people get what they want if you first know what they want.

Happy Networking!