I recently spoke to the Austin Chapter of the American Society for Training and Development (ASTD). With just one minute left in the Q&A somebody wisely asked how one can make 1:1 meetings more effective. I quipped that this would really take an additional 20-30 minute speech to effectively cover and moved on to the next question. I did promise to blog about the topic rather than completely ignoring the subject.

The topic of that speech was: "Real Networking Doesn't Happen at Networking Events." In that talk, and in my networking philosophy in general, I urge people to schedule time to meet one-on-one as it's very difficult to build any type of meaningful relationship in a 5-10 minute conversation at an event.

The typical 1:1 meeting is an hour, perhaps a little longer if it's over lunch or dinner. It's important to make the most of this time with someone. Please note that these tips are heavily focused on a first 1:1 meeting:

1) Do your homework. Learn what you can about the person you'll be meeting with and their background. Spending just a few minutes looking at their LinkedIn profile and reading their bio or website if available goes a long way. You can easily save 10-15 minutes of conversation about their background, and you'll be able to show that you've spent time learning about them which tends to impress people.

2) Give some thought prior to the meeting about how you might be able to help the person you're meeting with. This can be as simple as a new idea you had for their business or career. If you can start giving right away, even if it's small, you'll be off to the races in building a great mutually beneficial relationship.

3) Know your agenda. I'm not suggesting that you hand someone a printed outline of how you'll use the time in your meeting as these are typically pretty informal meetings. Do know what you want to accomplish in the time you have together. Do you know how this person might be able to help you? Be prepared to ask them for that directly. This makes it a lot easier for people to help you. [Note: If you're not comfortable with this ask in the first meeting that's ok. You may need to deepen the relationship first and find a couple of ways that you can help them first]

4) Know if you want to invest further. You won't want to continue building a relationship with every person you meet. In a lot of ways this part of networking is like dating. Some dates go well, others will fall flat and you'll want to move on. As you come close to wrapping up your first meeting together consider whether or not you want to keep networking with this person. If not be polite and respectful and thank the person for their time when you're finished.

5) Schedule your next step. If you do want to continue in the relationship building process there will likely be a fairly obvious next action. Should you get together again? Was there a follow-up item that one or both of you committed to? Schedule whatever that next step is then and there. People are busy and it's often difficult to reconnect via phone or e-mail even if it's just to schedule another meeting. Don't let this face to face opportunity pass you by without taking the time to get something on the calendar, even if it's a few months from now.

Try these out. Use them as a starting point. Then develop your own strategy that fits you best in the way you conduct your 1:1 meetings. The best way to get better at this is to practice. If you're not having at least one face to face meeting a week (50 new relationships a year) you're barely networking. Get out there and use a couple of your coffee's or lunches each week wisely and start building relationships.

Happy Networking!