After a recent speech I gave someone came up to me afterward and thanked me for showing her that she'd been way overdoing the bonding and rapport step in her sales process. I didn't talk about this specifically, but can understand how she came to this conclusion and she made a great point.

In Sales 101 you learn that one of the early steps in the sales process is "Bonding and Rapport." The classic example is that upon entering your prospect's office you notice something personal; a fish on the wall, a diploma, certain pictures, or some other type of award. You then begin a small talk conversation based on this artifact in their office. I often find that in a networking context this can be even more pronounced as some will dig for some type of mutual interest or other connection point.

This Bonding and Rapport process isn't bad in and of itself, however I think it's frequently overdone. You're certainly not setting yourself apart by trying to start some type of conversation about the most obvious item in someone's office... just like nearly every other sales schmuck has before you. It also eats into the valuable and limited time you have to be face to face with someone regardless of the context.

I'm sure there are many who will disagree with me on this point, but I find that it's better to just get to the point. Whether this is a sales call or just a follow-up face to face meeting with someone you met at a Chamber of Commerce event you're both there for a reason. Personally I think you build more credibility and value by quickly getting down to business and the purpose of your getting together. Certainly I'm not suggesting that you never work on the personal side of a relationship with someone. I am suggesting that you not lead with it. If you're doing a good job of listening and asking good questions you'll probably find some connection points over the course of your conversation anyway. Besides there's often a good window of time once the business portion of your meeting is wrapped up for you to talk about the family or a favorite hobby.

If you've read a book or two on networking you've almost certainly read that: "People do business with people the know, like and trust." I think this is what leads people to spend so much time trying to get other people to like them. While I generally agree with this statement I also believe that unless you can provide a viable solution very few people are going to do business with you just because they like you.

What do you think? Am I overreacting? Where does bonding and rapport and the development of a more personal relationship enter into your sales process?

Happy Networking!

Scott Ingram
NetworkInAustin.com