I've wanted to write this post for a while, but have been hesitant for fear that I wouldn't be able to fully articulate what I mean. I'm still not sure that I'll be able to accomplish that, but let's give it a shot! As always I appreciate your thoughts and comments.

When someone finds some level of success or is known for their expertise in a certain area they will invariably get a request for a meeting from someone who wants to "pick their brain." I've had many conversations about this issue with a number of people who are frequent victims of brain picking. Most don't mind being a resource and helping others. What they do mind is the lack of value placed on their time and knowledge. The going rate for a brain picking sessions these days seems to be 1 free meal, typically lunch. These same individuals are often in positions that they can bill hundreds of dollars an hour for their time.

Here's the rub. A big part of networking and relationship building is this exchange of ideas and expertise. So how do we make brain picking more enjoyable for everyone? Maybe if we started massaging each others brains rather than picking them we wouldn't have this issue?

I want to talk about both sides of this issue so this post can serve as a resource for the picker and the pickee. It's probably easiest if I start with the picker...

So, you want to pick someone's brain? There's certainly nothing wrong with that, but let's find an appropriate way to get what you want without offending or otherwise upsetting your pickee. As I mentioned the biggest issue here is the lack of appropriate respect and value placed on the pickee's time and experience. If you take a slightly more respectful approach than usual, and also ask upfront how you might be able to add value I think you'll be way ahead of your average brain picker. Try this on for size: "Mr. Big Dog, you may barely know me, but I have a ton of respect for the work you've done on salivating puppies. I've been working in the related field of drooling kittens and I think your expertise woud be invaluable to me. I know your time is worth way more than this, but would it be ok if I treated you to lunch to ask a few questions?" Follow that up with something along the lines of: "I want to do more than just pay for your meal. How can I help make this meeting worth your time?"

Due to some pretty rampant lack of respect and gratitude that is probably more than enough to get you an appointment with just about anyone you'd like. Hopefully you're not willing to settle for only slighly above average. Let's shoot for the top. The next problem is that it's very common for the picker to come unprepared for the meeting they themselves scheduled. Don't do that!!! Make sure you've researched the background and hopefully some of the writings of your chosen expert. Asking a question that they've already answered in writing someplace that you could easily find it is not going to make a very good impression. Be sure to come to the meeting with at least 2-3 well thought out, open ended questions that will help you get to the answers you're looking for. That's it, no rocket science here, just come prepared.

Once you're in your meeting be sure to follow-up your offer for help when you set the meeting. Spend at least a few minutes trying to understand how you might be able to assist the individual you're meeting with. Just start a conversation about their current projects and needs. If you listen carefully you'll be surprised at the ideas you'll have to offer just a little bit of help, or point them in the direction of a helpful resource.

Finally, once your meeting is over please, please, please remember to follow-up and say thanks. A quick hand written note will do the trick everytime. Follow these very simple steps and I think you'll find doors start to open much more readily than they have in the past, and if you get the follow-up right I think that you'll find that they stay open as well.

Now, if you frequently find that you're the pickee here's my advice. Have your potential picker read this blog post! It might help. Beyond that I suggest that you be ready to ask for some type of favor in return. Ideally this is something they can do for you prior to your scheduling a meeting. It shouldn't be a monumental task, just something this person can easily help you with given their skills and position. Do this correctly and you'll probably find that those who would have wasted your time won't deliver and this will save you from ever having the meeting in the first place. On the other hand it will also give you the opportunity to find the standouts. There are great folks out there who are interested in your expertise, but would also love to find a way to help you. Give them the opportunity.

Happy Brain Picking!

-Scott Ingram
NetworkInAustin.com