This week we have a Guest Blog from Ragen Chastain inspired by a networking meeting.

I was at a networking meeting where the table topic was "Networking Horror Stories".  My table noticed that a number of the networking horror stories bore a striking resemblance to dating horror stories, which inspired this blog post.

Here are some tips to help you be a better dater, a better networker, or both.

Find a target rich environment

If you are a man who is interested in women, don’t hang out at gay bars.  If you are a salesperson who sells to c-level executives of multi-million dollar companies, don’t spend most of your time at restaurants eating lunch with solopreneurs.  There’s nothing wrong with solopreneurs, they’re just not your target market.

Ask about them

You know the person who comes up to you at a bar and strikes up a “conversation” – if you can call them assaulting your ears with a constant stream of “me…me…me…me...me” a conversation.  Don’t be that guy.  Have a list of questions ready for when you meet someone:

·         What do you do?

·         How did you get into that?

·         Who is a good strategic partner for you? 

·         How can I help? 

It’s actually ok if you have a conversation where you don’t talk about yourself at all.  Shocking, I know.

Buy them dinner first

These things take time – first you buy them a drink, then you go out for coffee, then you go on a date, then you go for the kiss.  How do you feel about someone who walks up to a stranger, puckers up, and just goes for it?  That’s how people feel about you when you walk up to them and try to sell them your product or service, before you even know their name.  This isn’t just about the other person either.  If you aren’t taking the time to see if people are qualified to be your client or referral partner, then you need to rethink your strategy.

It’s ok to be just friends

Everyone is not right for you, you are not right for everyone.  Even if you buy the drink, have the coffee, and go on a couple of dates, you may still get an “it’s not you, it’s me…I think we should just be friends”.  Friends isn’t such a bad thing.  Even if someone doesn’t end up being the perfect client or the perfect referral partner for you, that doesn’t mean that you should abandon the relationship.  If you qualified them like you should for integrity, character, and qualities that you want in a client or referral partner, then they’ll be a great friend.  And who knows, maybe they’ll be the one to introduce you to your future partner.