Managers spend quite a bit of their time communicating.  Much of their day is spent having conversations with their own team members, co-workers, peer managers, upper management, customers, vendors and friends.

When much of their success comes from their ability to communicate effectively, it makes sense that they utilize a multitude of communication tactics. 

One of the strategic devices that a manager can employ is the pause.  That’s right!  The pause.

It’s interesting how powerful a pause can be.  We spend so much of our time trying to think of things to say that we overlook the act of not saying anything at all.  A pause can be used to give you time to think.  It can stop an aggressive confrontation in its tracks, cause the speaker to   re-state his/her request, or add needed weight to a statement.

It’s easy to practice your pause.  You can do it almost anywhere, with anyone, in nearly every situation.  Try this.  If someone has started an interaction in an aggressive tone, either on the phone or in person, a pause, without showing any emotion, will often cause the other person to re-think his words, and the majority of the time, even cause him to re-state his declaration.

Speechwriters use the pause often to emphasize an important point.  You as the manager can do this as well.  If you are making an important statement in a meeting, use an extended pause after your assertion.  Let it sink in.  Let everyone know that this is critical.

A pause will also give you some time to think about what you are doing.  The old “ten-second” rule, where you are giving your mind time to comprehend what was said and time to decide how you want to respond, is actually a pause in action. 

Pausing can also be a critical component of active listening.  Good listeners soak in what is being said.  They are not just waiting for an opening to talk again.  The pause, used often, gives you extra time to process, comprehend, empathize and truly listen.  Inserting pauses can be a complimentary action to your listening competence.

A pause can be used to show interest, and when you add a nod with a pause, it shows you are understanding what is being explained and gives the approval for the other person to continue talking.

“Active” pauses are when you are using the pause to get a response.  With an active pause you keep eye contact, utilizing other non-verbal actions to show that you are waiting for them to “try again” or that you mean business.

An “in-active” pause is when you look away.  You are pondering.  You are thinking about what you want to say or showing that what you have just heard is important, and you want to consider it further.

If we sit and think about it, all of us can come up with examples of using the pause.  Good times to use it.  Times that you already use it naturally.    We have sounds or words we use to introduce a pause.  “OK?”  “Uh….huh.”  “Hmmmm”  We have actions that we use in conjunction with our pauses.  Sitting back in your chair.  Standing up in a meeting.  Putting our hand on our chin.  Looking away from the speaker.  Closing our eyes. 

There is not anything new about the pause.  It’s always been there.  But learning to use it as a communication tool can turn a little bit of silence into an art-form.