One of the hardest things for hospital personnel to deal with is a disaster that affects the whole town.  Often I still have flashbacks to a time when there was a chemical spill at a manufacturing plant in our community.  Several of the men were brought into the emergency room.  As risk manager who has performed numerous operations assessments, I had two primary responsibilities during a disaster – neither was pleasant.  The first one – I was responsible for identifying the casualties.  The second, I was the liaison between the clinical staff and the patient and families involved in the incident.   In this particular situation, a man in his early twenties was brought to the ER in critical condition.  He looked normal on the outside but had suffered severe burns to his lungs.  The medical team realized they couldn’t save him.  It was my job to help tell the wife.  She had only one request; she asked to lie in the bed next to her husband one last time.  It was a very difficult thing to help her climb into that bed that day, but it was her way to say goodbye. I wasn’t going to deny her that.  I took a lot of criticism because of my decision.  Some thought it was morbid.  Some thought she was crazy.  Others thought I had been irresponsible for allowing her to do it.

Sometimes, as an executive leader you will have to make decisions that no one understands at the moment.  Maybe you don’t even understand yourself, but you know it is the right one.  Maybe your job doesn’t include life and death decisions, but as the leader you are responsible for knowing right and wrong for your organization.  The ultimate ‘life’ of the company feels like it weighs on your shoulders.  Your job is one that many aspire to have and then wonder why they wanted it once they got there. It is also a job for which you feel pride because you know that you represent the company well by serving the clients and your staff with the utmost respect.  It is during these tough times that it becomes important that you have a group of well-respected colleagues to vent, yell, and cry to, when necessary; or to have a celebratory drink or meal together during good times.  It is this group that will refine you and help make you the executive leader that you want to be. We all need a group of trusted advisors.  They will help us remain human during stressful times and support us when we need it.

A good business strategy to employ is to have a personal advisory board.  Choose carefully three to five peers, internal and external to the company.  Identify those colleagues that can challenge you when you push too hard, or who can share lessons learned the hard way through experiences.  But equally so, it is important to have an advisory group that can support you even when they don’t understand your reasons for decisions but will be there regardless of the outcome.  This same group can pick you up when you feel defeated by circumstances and rejoice with you for incredible outcomes. They don’t need to understand your industry.  They only need to understand you.  The best of the best executive leaders cannot survive long term in their positions without a foundation of peers.  It is important to not use your significant other for this role.  It is incredibly difficult for him or her to be objective on the roller coaster of emotion that can accompany an executive’s position. You need to choose people that you have given permission to ‘push back’ on you when necessary.

Being the leader can be incredibly exhilarating, but let’s face it – some days it is a lonely position.  Take care of yourself.  Your family needs you.  Your company needs you.  Most importantly – you need to be true to yourself.

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